My Life Lately

It's been quite awhile since I have posted on my blog, but things have been quite crazy lately. I don't know what it is about this time of the year, but I always feel so overwhelmed by all the things I need to do. It's so frustrating, because with the holidays approaching all I want to do is slow down and enjoy the small moments shared with family and friends. I don't know about you all, but I find myself getting so discouraged. It's like an evil catch-22. I get behind on the things I want to accomplish, then I get so depressed that I am not living up to my expectations and that causes me to get even further behind. It makes me feel so alone. I start to put what I need to get done ahead of spending quality time with Paul, family, and friends when that is what I should really be focusing on. It's taken a lot of mental effort to do things that make me happy. I am really struggling finding that balance between getting done the things I need to and making sure I am still having a happy and meaningful life. My "to-do" lists have become both my lifesaver and bane of my existence. I am a major control freak so I have had to really rely on those in my life to help me out with the things I can't get to. I am truly blessed with some amazing people in my life. 

Below is one of the photos I took this past summer at my parents house. I miss having lots of land to just go and escape to. Whenever I felt overwhelmed or upset I would go up to this clearing and the whole world would just melt away. I am still searching for a similar place here in my new home.